Pregnant

Your Options - Marriage

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

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If you are in an unplanned pregnancy and are still involved with your baby’s father, you may be considering marriage. Marrying for the right reasons is beautiful, but marrying for the wrong reasons is not.

Marriage may seem like a perfect answer. You would have someone there to assist you in parenting responsibilities, both financial as well as emotional. You would have help with daily parenting duties. You may feel more accepted by friends, family, and society if you get married. Your family may even be pushing you towards marriage or pushing your baby’s father to marry you because it’s the “proper” thing to do.

But getting married just because you are pregnant is not a good idea and not a good reason for two people to get married. Trust me, I've seen this too many times. So many people have gotten married just because of an unplanned pregnancy. It just doesn't work. Most of these marriages end in divorce. The statistics show us that 90% of teens who get married because of pregnancy will be divorced within six years. The percentage of divorces goes down slightly, the older the couple is when they wed.

An unplanned pregnancy can sometimes put stress on an existing marriage. Marrying because of an unplanned pregnancy will undeniably add stress from the get go. The strain and stress of disagreements in a marriage can be hard on the baby as well. You also may feel that marriage may guarantee that your child would have an involved father, but it doesn’t necessarily guarantee that.

If you were already considering marriage or had marriage to your child’s father planned in your future then it may work, but don’t let sharing a child be your sole reason for getting married.

If you are considering marriage, think through some of the following questions:

  • Do you love the father of the baby?
  • Would he make a good father?
  • Do you have your own place to live separate from friends and family?
  • How does he treat you? (He will he likely treat your child the same.)
  • Is he someone you can always count on?
  • Does he show responsibility?
  • Did he graduate from High School? ...College?
  • How long does he stay at the same job?
  • Does he save money?
  • Does he pay his bills on time?
  • Does he make you feel good about yourself?
  • Can you see yourself married to him for the rest of your life?
  • Would you get married to him right now even if you were not pregnant?

If you are not 100% sure that you love him and that you want to be married to him for the rest of your life, take time to consider some other options.

You should consider these not just for your sake, but also for the sake of your baby.

What about Adoption?

What about Single Parenting?