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Adoption Basics
If you are just starting down the adoption path, the research
alone can be overwhelming. There are so many paths to choose from.
The very first thing you will need to do, no matter which path you choose,
will be to get a completed 'home study'.
A home study is required by all states
and is conducted by a social
worker that is licensed by the state in which
you reside. Home studies are performed to evaluate you as a prospective
parent. The social
worker will visit your home, interview all family members,
and prepare a written
report. That written report will be submitted to a
Judge when you are ready to finalize the adoption of your child. Each state
has different regulations
that govern the requirements of a home study, but
in general, the following information
is included in a home study:
- Personal and family background - your upbringing, your parents,
your siblings, key events, and what was learned from them -
Significant people currently in your lives
-
Marriage and family relationships
-
Motivation to adopt
-
Expectations for the child
-
Feelings about infertility (if this is an issue)
-
Parenting and integration of the child into the family
-
Family environment
-
Physical and health history of the applicants
-
Education, employment, and finances - including insurance coverage
and child care plans
if needed -
References and criminal background clearances
-
Summary and social worker's recommendations
A home study can be
completed by a social worker employed by an adoption
agency, by an independent social worked licensed by your
state, or by a
social worker employed
by your state government if you elect to pursue foster parenting instead of
private adoption.
The cost of a home study varies greatly. I generally tell people to shop around
and the two questions you should ask
are ~ how much will it cost, and how
long will it take to complete. Prices can
vary from $200 to $2,000. Some home
study providers can complete a home study in 3 to 4 weeks while others may
take 8 months or a year.
Next, you need to decide what type of adoption you want to pursue. Your
decision
will determine what type of organization
you need to work with. Do
you want to pursue an international adoption and bring
your child into the
United States from
another country, or would you prefer a domestic adoption (adopting from within
the United States)? Opinions here are
mostly personal preference. International adoptions require many more levels of
paperwork
and process. They may or
may not take more time, they require travel out of
the country, newborns are
rare, and the cost is usually much more
significant.
The plus side of international adoption is that as long as you are
willing to
work through the process, you will
get your child, and usually without the
emotional uncertainty that can
sometimes accompany
a domestic adoption.
There are many different ways to pursue a domestic adoption, so you need
to do
much more research on your own. Every state has their own adoption
laws, so you need to know the requirements of your
state. Most adoption
laws are written
to protect the rights of the birthparents, so birthparents
cannot terminate
their parental rights until after the birth of the
baby. This
leaves hopeful adoptive parents in limbo until after the birth.
Birthparents
can and do sometimes change their
minds about placing the baby after working
for months with an adoptive family.
This can cause quite an emotional roller
coaster ride for adoptive families. Sadly, adoptive families can have several
failed adoptions before a birthmother actually
follows through and places her
baby with them. This process also lends itself to
abuse from birthparents that
are in need
of money and ready to scam adoptive families. Most states also
have laws that
help protect the adoptive parents. States
usually have limits
on the amount and type of assistance a family can provide a
birthmother. So
yes, you need to be careful,
but in a domestic adoption, you will always be
out on a limb with your heart and
your finances until those final termination
of rights papers are signed by the birthparents. But don't let me discourage
you. We have assisted many, many, birthmothers
that only ask for a loving home
and family to place their babies with. Most
domestic adoptions are newborn
babies that go
with the adoptive family when they are discharged from the
hospital a day or two
after birth.
If you choose to go with a domestic adoption, you then need to choose a
path toward finding your child. Your choices
can include one or more of the following:
-
You can choose to adopt
through your state government by becoming
a Foster
Parent. This is probably the cheapest way to adopt, but it is
not
an easy road. God Bless the
Foster Parents that are caring
for
these children in need, but
if your goal is to adopt a child quickly,
this may not be the path for you. If
you choose this path, you will
work with
the department of children and family services of your
state government and
become a licensed Foster Parent.
You can
tell your social worker that you hope to adopt and would only like
to
take in children that may be up for
adoption, but in most cases,
no one knows if these children will be placed for
adoption, or returned
to their
biological parents. You have to be prepared to care for a
child perhaps for
years, only to see them eventually
returned to the
biological parents. -
You can choose to work
with a private agency that is licensed as an authorized child
placing organization by your state.
Agencies are
required to adhere to
licensing and procedural standards that are
monitored by the state.
A great deal of research is required here. Every agency has their own policies and
procedures. Many have
adoptive family criteria that must be met before they will work with
you such as age limits,
biological children restrictions, and religious or
sexual orientations. Some agencies have waiting lists that
stretch out
many years.
And, some agency fees are bordering on absurd. Many I
have called will not even
give you a total cost estimate.
They start
with $500 to talk with you, $2000 for a home study, then
a $1500 search
fee, $2000 to counsel your birthmother, another $4000 for a
placement fee, then
comes post-placement visits. Many of the big
name
agencies around the country are charging $30,000 - $40,000.
I cannot justify
these fees. Yes, an agency can
do most of the
adoption process for you, and many states do
require some type of
agency
involvement, but do
your homework here. There are good
agencies and bad agencies.
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You can choose to work
with an attorney that specializes in adoption.
Most adoption attorneys
have developed their own private networks
and can attract
birthmothers to match with their families. This is a
good thing to do, and
since you will need an attorney to handle your
adoption anyway, it certainly
can't hurt. Often these adoption
attorneys do not have a large enough network to attract very many
birthmothers, so don't limit yourself to this
option, but still, it only
takes one to select you, so don't overlook this opportunity
either.
-
You can choose to work
with a facilitator. A facilitator is a person or organization
that works to
find birthparents and match them
with an
adoptive family. There are many different flavors
of facilitators, and
they can function and
provide their service any way they choose.
Facilitators are private companies and as
such have little supervision
and
oversight
by the governing bodies. This does not mean that
they
are not ethical
professionals with good
standards, it simply means that
there are few or no oversight mechanisms in
place at this time. So,
this option also requires a great deal of research
and reference
checking.
As private companies, facilitators are also
innovative and motivated to expand their reach and can often attract many birth
families and adoptive
families
with a high rate of successful placements.
Again, there are good companies and
bad companies.
You can choose to work with a service such as A Loving Choice
that can assist you with the adoption process. A Loving Choice provides
services similar to a facilitator in that we are a marketing service where we
advertise our services all across the country as well as present our
contracted families to birthparents.
A Loving Choice has experience and working relationships with many adoption
attorneys, agencies, and other adoption professionals across the states and
can offer guidance regarding the adoption process. We are not a licensed
agency nor are we licensed social workers, but with our knowledge of the
adoption process, we are well aware of when licensed
agencies, social workers, and/or attorneys need to be involved.
Working as a ministry, we are not profit motivated and
almost all of our incoming fees are returned to advertising for our families.
We believe our marketing fee is one of the lowest in the country.
Throughout your adoption journey, never stop researching and educating your- self
and your family. The Internet is a
wonderful place to read and talk with other people about their adoption
experiences.
Tell everyone about your adoption plans. You never know when a friend of a
friend may know of a birthmother that is
wanting to place her baby.
Investigate ways to handle your adoption expenses. Determine what your
adoption budget is
before choosing a path.
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